Wait A Minute...

It's an interesting phenomena that time passes at different speeds.  If you don't believe me, think about the last time you were in a dentist's chair, writing an exam, or working a really horrible job.  Then think about the last time you did something fun... 'nuff said.  "Yes, but that is only perception, it's not the rate or speed of time that is changing!" I hear you say... well, my response is that perception is everything, it is your reality, and it determines how you experience the world... your world.

However, this isn't new information, or even particularly interesting information; so why am I discussing it?  Here's why:

In a past blog post of mine, i talked about certain bedtime rituals that I did with my kids... specifically, little boy and little girl stories.  I mentioned that some day the tradition would end, and I would be sad.  Well, that time has come and gone, and the bedtime ritual now is to watch YouTube music videos.  The only one of my three children that still wants to do this is my youngest, and it is one of our traditions.  What we watch varies from time to time, or not at all.  My daughter will want to watch the same thing for weeks, and then out of the blue, things change...

For awhile we watched Gowan videos, then we watched Men Without Hats videos, then we watched Donny Osmond in Joseph and His Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat videos, and the list goes on.  The cool thing about all of this is that changing from something old to something new by watching something old has been rather enjoyable.  Who knows, I might yet get the opportunity to tell some more little boy and little girl stories, however, I won't despair about things that have slipped to the wayside because what it comes down to is not what I do to spend time with my children, but that I do spend time with my children.  The few precious moments I get almost every evening go by fairly fast, and I leave my daughter's room far sooner than I like.  However, I have come to realize that by filling my normal time with pockets of speed time, the slow time will occur less and less, and even though it may seem like my time is slipping away, it is doing so and creating memories at the same time.

I will end this post with one of my favourite poems that in a rather powerful way sums up how I feel about life, experience, and the passage of time:

Ulysses

BY ALFRED, LORD TENNYSON

It little profits that an idle king,

By this still hearth, among these barren crags,

Match'd with an aged wife, I mete and dole

Unequal laws unto a savage race,

That hoard, and sleep, and feed, and know not me.

I cannot rest from travel: I will drink

Life to the lees: All times I have enjoy'd

Greatly, have suffer'd greatly, both with those

That loved me, and alone, on shore, and when

Thro' scudding drifts the rainy Hyades

Vext the dim sea: I am become a name;

For always roaming with a hungry heart

Much have I seen and known; cities of men

And manners, climates, councils, governments,

Myself not least, but honour'd of them all;

And drunk delight of battle with my peers,

Far on the ringing plains of windy Troy.

I am a part of all that I have met;

Yet all experience is an arch wherethro'

Gleams that untravell'd world whose margin fades

For ever and forever when I move.

How dull it is to pause, to make an end,

To rust unburnish'd, not to shine in use!

As tho' to breathe were life! Life piled on life

Were all too little, and of one to me

Little remains: but every hour is saved

From that eternal silence, something more,

A bringer of new things; and vile it were

For some three suns to store and hoard myself,

And this gray spirit yearning in desire

To follow knowledge like a sinking star,

Beyond the utmost bound of human thought.

         This is my son, mine own Telemachus,

To whom I leave the sceptre and the isle,—

Well-loved of me, discerning to fulfil

This labour, by slow prudence to make mild

A rugged people, and thro' soft degrees

Subdue them to the useful and the good.

Most blameless is he, centred in the sphere

Of common duties, decent not to fail

In offices of tenderness, and pay

Meet adoration to my household gods,

When I am gone. He works his work, I mine.

         There lies the port; the vessel puffs her sail:

There gloom the dark, broad seas. My mariners,

Souls that have toil'd, and wrought, and thought with me—

That ever with a frolic welcome took

The thunder and the sunshine, and opposed

Free hearts, free foreheads—you and I are old;

Old age hath yet his honour and his toil;

Death closes all: but something ere the end,

Some work of noble note, may yet be done,

Not unbecoming men that strove with Gods.

The lights begin to twinkle from the rocks:

The long day wanes: the slow moon climbs: the deep

Moans round with many voices. Come, my friends,

'T is not too late to seek a newer world.

Push off, and sitting well in order smite

The sounding furrows; for my purpose holds

To sail beyond the sunset, and the baths

Of all the western stars, until I die.

It may be that the gulfs will wash us down:

It may be we shall touch the Happy Isles,

And see the great Achilles, whom we knew.

Tho' much is taken, much abides; and tho'

We are not now that strength which in old days

Moved earth and heaven, that which we are, we are;

One equal temper of heroic hearts,

Made weak by time and fate, but strong in will

To strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield.

What do you desire?

Many, if not most of you have probably come across this, but I heard this for the first time the other day, and it really resonated with me.  It's by Alan Watts, and I think that you might like it.  Let me know in the comments what you think.

Mike

What do you desire?
What makes you itch?
What sort of a situation would you like?

Let’s suppose, I do this often in vocational guidance of students, they come to me and say, well, we’re getting out of college and we haven’t the faintest idea what we want to do.

So I always ask the question, what would you like to do if money were no object? How would you really enjoy spending your life?

Well, it’s so amazing, as a result of our kind of educational system crowds of students say, well, we’d like to be painters, we’d like to be poets, we’d like to be writers, but as everybody knows you can’t earn any money that way. Or another person says well, I’d like to live an out-of-doors life and ride horses.

I say, you want to teach in a riding school? Let’s go through with it. What do you want to do? When we finally got down to something which the individual says he really wants to do, I will say to him, you do that — and forget the money, because if you say that getting the money is the most important thing, you will spend your life completely wasting your time.

You’ll be doing things you don’t like doing in order to go on living, that is to go on doing things you don’t like doing, which is stupid. Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing than a long life spent in a miserable way.

And after all, if you do really like what you’re doing, it doesn’t matter what it is, you can eventually turn it – you could eventually become a master of it. It’s the only way to become a master of something, to be really with it. And then you’ll be able to get a good fee for whatever it is.

So don’t worry too much that everybody is – somebody is interested in everything, anything you can be interested in, you will find others will.

But it’s absolutely stupid to spend your time doing things you don’t like in order to go on spending things you don’t like, doing things you don’t like and to teach your children to follow in the same track. See what we are doing is we’re bringing up children and educating to live the same sort of lifes we are living. In order that they may justify themselves and find satisfaction in life by bringing up their children to bring up their children to do the same thing, so it’s all retch and no vomit — it never gets there.

And so, therefore, it’s so important to consider this question: what do I desire?

-Alan Watts

Seeking peace...

It seems that I am following a theme here, but that's okay.  I tend to write about what's on my mind and in my heart.  I don't have many people following this blog, but the ones that I do have, I really love and appreciate.  If you read my blog, and you like what you read, why not follow?  Why not even comment?  It will certainly make me happy, and you know it will make you happy too.

There are times when I struggle to feel happy.  Even though I feel that we can choose to feel happier, there are often things that hinder making that choice.  Sometimes I struggle because my life situation is not what or where I would like or need it to be.  Other times, it is because there are people that I love who are struggling and that makes me sad.  Sometimes, it's simply that the chemicals sloshing around in my brain are not sloshing the way they should. 

It's funny because there are times when I feel happy or content when I have every reason not to.  I don't get it, but I take it when it comes and I run with it.

One thing that I used to do a lot of is reading.  I have not read anything for pleasure for a very long time, and I wonder if I still can.  Part of the reason is my masters program... 'nuff said.  Another reason is that I am working on a novel, and I don't want my story 'corrupted' by other literary influences.  That is, I don't want what I am reading to creep into what I am writing.  I am starting to revise my thinking on that, though.  I miss reading, and the feeling of peace that often comes from doing so.  Yes, sometimes I do it purely just to escape, and that is alright.  Other times I read for the simple pleasure of reading a good story.  These two reasons might seem the same, but there are significant differences.

So I think I will both write and read, and see where that takes me.  It's funny how this post started out one way, and seemed to end in a completely different way... but then again, maybe it's not...

Back in the saddle...

I sometimes find myself at a loss for words, and those that know me would find that hard to believe.  Well, the proof of the plum is in the pudding as they say, and my online silence has been very plum like.  'Nuff said.

I have had the opportunity to spend the last year and a half with my daughter and I have been both spoiled and blessed.  I will soon be returning to the workforce and I will be leaving behind the freedom of well... freedom.  My daughter and I would frolic through the forests, or play in the park.  On cold days we would play games inside, or watch a movie or two.  In many ways I was able to live a childhood that I never had, and I am grateful for the wonderful bond I have made with my daughter.  I am trying to live the words of the late great Doctor Seuss, "don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."  I know that I was given a gift, and I will always cherish it. 

Having said this, I am struggling somewhat with the change that is taking place in my life, but I know that change is relatively short.  Nothing ever stays new, time passes and experiences become familiar until they are like a pair of comfortable shoes that are holey and worn, but feel ever so good on our feet.  However, this can only happen if we give it the chance.  That doesn't mean that change will be easy, it just means that with time it ceases to be change, and it becomes the norm, the regular, the way things are and have been.  So it is normal to feel uncomfortable with change and newness at first, because like those shoes, they need to broken in.  This may mean blisters and soreness at first, but there will come a time when we will find it hard to remember what it was like without it in our lives.

I don't want it to sound like I have mastered this.  There are times when life is so difficult that I feel that it may become almost unbearable.  Sometimes, I would do anything to make the hard things in life go away.  I wish that I could say that I face all my problems with my chin up, back straight, and a glint in my eye, but I would be lying.  There are times that I feel like curling up in the foetal position in the dark, sucking my thumb and waiting for the daylight to come.  I am fairly positive that we all have those moments, so I can say this unashamedly.  This does not mean that I do so because then that would be letting life crush me and that is never an option.

What I can say is that I will do my best.  I will stumble, I will feel afraid at times, but I will also feel joy, excitement, and the exultation of overcoming difficulties.  I may fall off of the horse at times, but as often as possible, I will climb back in the saddle...

Just a quick note...

I just wanted to let everyone know that I have not abandoned this blog.  It has been one of the craziest summers of my life, and between coursework, family, and being gone until 9:30 pm every night, I never had the time to take a deep breath, let alone write.  Yes, I know these are just excuses, but they are valid ones.  Be patient... you will be glad that you did...

Communicating...

I have decided to do a series on proper and healthy communication.  I know, I know... you want to know why.  Well, I was hoping you would ask.  (If you hadn't, I wouldn't have anything to say here would I?)  We all communicate, but most, if not all of us do not do so as effectively as we could or should.  I am almost positive that you... yes you, have either misunderstood others, or have been misunderstood yourself.  Well, that can all change... if you want it to. 

The reality is that we are communicating non-stop.  Yep, all of the time... and yes, we even communicate in our sleep.  Now, I'm not saying that you are like me and wake up to find a room full of eager listeners making notes on what you said while in dreamland... I kid you not, it has happened to me, but that is a story for another time.  I merely suggest to you that a keen observer can tell how you are sleeping by, well... observing you, and that my friend is one thing that you communicate while under the Sandman's influence.

Now, back to your original question.  If we learn how to communicate effectively, we can improve so many aspects and areas of our lives.  I promise that effective communication can even save your life.  So, I will talk about everything from making clear emotive statements, to doing perception checks to ensure that your message has made it across clearly. The list of things I will cover, is actually going to be quite extensive, so by the end of this series you should be a professional communicator.

As a writer, one of the most important things that I do is to communicate through my writing.  I will be covering some aspects of this, but to be honest, there are so many blogs, books, and beb pages, (actually, web pages but I was going for the rule of three and a nice round of alliteration...), that discuss this undeniably important part of the writer's craft, that I feel I would just be muddying the waters by foraying into that particular jungle.

I need to make it clear that I will also be posting other stuff as well.  As I stated in my last post, I have some exciting things planned.  I will still be musing, pondering, and wondering just like I have been doing from the get go, but smattered in between my mental wanderings, on a fairly regular basis, I will present different series on things like communication, writing, the five sigma discovery of the Higgs Boson, etc.

So until then, remember who you are and what you stand for.  Don't take any wooden nickles, or shove beans up your nose...

Mike

Directions...

I feel like an absentee parent.  I have given birth to a beautiful bouncing baby blog, I have watched it grow, and nurtured it along the way, and I have felt pride in the friends that it has made as well as the people who have supported it as it grew.  However, the last couple of years have seen it grow lonely, unnurtured, and silent.  I have made a few attempts to try and revive it, but, unfortunately, those attempts were meager at best.  I used to be proud of what I created, and I would share it with everyone, but now....

Well, that's all about to change.  I have big plans for my little blog.  I will be keeping with the general theme of musing, etc; however, I will also be adding a few new things.  Writing has again become a very large part of my life and I want to reflect this in my blog.  So I will be blogging about writing, writers, books, publishing, and all manner of writingish stuff.  I will attempt to procure guest writers for my blog, interviews, and all sorts of wonderful goodies.

If you want to participate, please drop me a line either as a comment, or in an email.  If you have something that you would like me to blog about, please do the same. 

I am currently working on a new novel, and even though much of my "free" time is spent on that, I will be endeavouring to revitalize, renew, rework, and re... re... re... well, re-reing this wonderful creation called, "Life's like that..."  So please come along and join in the festivities, the learning, the revelations, and the wonder that is my blog.

Hello... I am a writer...

It has been almost a year since I last posted on this blog. I have started several posts, but for some reason or other, I never actually got around to posting them. I miss the blog, though, so it is time for me to get back in the writing saddle.

I am going to be making a few changes to the format of this blog, however. I am writing again, and so I will be blogging about writing. I will also be looking back at my life and some of the things that I have learned, and I will be sharing some of these things as well.

Anyway, on with the show, so to speak.

There are two times of the year that I feel a stronger need or desire to write, and those two times would be the spring and the fall. I don't know why, and I have never really tried to figure it out. It just happens this way, and I accept that. I have been chomping at the proverbial bit for the last few weeks, and I have actually started writing something. I will tell you more about that later.

There are a few things that come to my mind when I start writing, but there are many things that don't. Let me share some of the don'ts with you.

First, I don't sit down and plan or plot out my story. I'm what you call an edge of the seater, or seat of my pantser type writer. In other words, I write as I go. That doesn't mean that I don't have an idea as to where I am going with a story, it just means that I don't sit down and outline it or plan it to the nth degree. I let it come out at its own pace and in its own time. This keeps the story fresh and alive for me. I have attempted to plan out my writing in the past, and I found that once I plotted out the details, etc, the spark was gone because the story had been told. This leads me to the next don't.

I don't talk too much about the story I am writing. Every story has a spark that keeps it going as it is being written. It is what drives me to write the story, it's like a need for the story to be told. If I tell the story verbally before I write it down, the spark is gone and the story is out there so it no longer needs to be told.

I don't edit as I go, and I don't go back and edit earlier stuff. Editing to soon can ruin a story, and if you are not careful it can take over and become the focus. That is, you can end up spending more time trying to get the story perfect than getting the story out. This doesn't mean that I don't make minor changes, or fix problems that I notice while I am writing. What it means is that when I sit down to write... I write. There will be time to make changes later, but if I don't finish the story, there will be nothing worth editing.

You may have heard others say that stories have a life of their own, and to a point this is true, however, they only come to life through the will of the writer. Whether or not you feel that the story drives you, or the other way around, it is you, the writer, that is bringing the story from its pre-existent state into a realm of being... a world where it can be experienced by others... our world. This is creation in its truest sense of the word, and that is no mean feat.

Hi, remember me...

Again, I must apologize for the dearth of posts.  I have been struggling with writer's ennui and it has been very difficult for me to just do it.  The fact that my computer crashed, we have been sick/travelling/job hunting/home hunting/purpose hunting, etc. factors in, but they are all just things that excuses are made of, and I know that you don't want to hear excuses.

We have spent our time in the north and will be soon returning to the civilized lands of the big city.  We have learned quite a bit up here, and there is much that I will miss, however, there is much that I will not miss.  Having said that, let's focus on the positive.

A few months ago, we had a total lunar eclipse; some of you may remember it.  It was an exciting experience for us, but especially for my son.  Not only because he got to stay up past 01:00, and not only because he got to hang out with mom and dad (assuming he would find this exciting), but also because it was his first lunar eclipse.  We lay on the living room floor with our heads as close to the window as possible.  It was a fairly slow process, but a very cool one.  When the moon was fully eclipsed and red, my wife and son decided that they could no longer keep their eyes open, so they went to bed.  I chose to stay up a little longer.  I went outside and looked up at a sky that was filled with stars.  When I looked at the moon, my heart jumped.  Hanging in the sky, with stars forming an intricate pattern around and behind it, was the shadow encrusted moon.  It was beautiful.  It was also unlike anything that I had ever seen or experienced before.  I stood their and stared, not wanting to close my eyes.  I took pictures, knowing that they would never come close to what I was experiencing but wanting to try anyway, and then I just stood there a little longer.  After a while, but before the moon moved out of shadow, I went back into the house with this perfect memory planted in my head.

I would not have experienced this in the city.

No way.

Wildlife is abundant up here; both big and small.  One morning, when I was leaving for work, I stepped out the back door and what did I see?  A loose board hanging from my roof.  I called my wife and asked her if she knew how long that had been like that.  I was staring fixedly at the board, when my wife gasped.  I looked at her, and she pointed and whispered, "There."  I turned my head to the direction she was pointing and standing there was a very large moose.  We stood and watched this moose, that was no more than ten feet away, munching on the trees, or whatever.  We grabbed the video camera, and our digital camera and began recording the moment.  After a while, the moose became aware of its audience and slowly began to move away after trying to stare us down.

That same morning, as I was driving to work, a mouse ran up my leg, and down the other side... I originally thought it was my phone vibrating, I remember thinking, "but why was it vibrating against my inner thigh, and not on the outside where it normally sits in my pocket?"  I looked down to find out, and discovered that it was not my phone at all.

I could continue, and in other posts I will, but now I must put paid to this topic and move on for a bit.  We will miss the country.  However, we will also be glad to be back where we understand the rules and know how things work.  Although we will be moving back to a very noisy, hectic, and sometimes chaotic world, it will be comfortable in many ways.  We know where to go and where not to go.  We know when things are open and when things are closed. We know we can have clean water from the tap instead of seeing leeches in the filter container, and we know that - most likely, we won't have to leave mousetraps in the car.  We will miss the beauty, serenity, and often wonderful experiences that can only be had up here, but the north is always going to be here, and we can always return to visit.

Life has a way...

It's 16:30 (4:30 for those of you who don't read 24 hour clockese) and it's Friday.  Normally, I would heave a big sigh of relief and think TGIF.  However, weekends have become somewhat more crazy than my weekdays.  Actually, they are about the same, so I guess that means that TGIF has got up and went.  While it is wenting somewhere else, I will say instead, "So Far, So Good."

I won't lie, I have been feeling stressed and under the gun lately, and I am less than sure when that is going to change.  The good news is that I said 'when' and not 'if'.  Change is, as they say, inevitable.  However, the form that that particular change will take is an unknown.  I have come to believe that the unknown is not only good, but entirely necessary.  Not only would knowing the future ruin the surprise, it would probably keep us as unhappy and miserable as it is possible to be.  I know what anticipatory anxiety is, and I can tell you that  it is almost always wrong.  There have been very few times when things have been as bad or worse than I have feared them to be, and this has taught me to not only have a little faith, but to also believe that something good is around the corner waiting for me.  I can't imagine what life would be like if I knew that someone was going to mug me, or how blase those wonderful moments in life would become if I was never taken by surprise.

Now let me be clear, I'm not talking about the "I-know-what-is-going-to-happen-so-I-can-change-it" type of future, I'm talking about the "I-know-what-is-going-to-happen-and-there-is-nothing-that-I-can-do-about-it" type future.  It's kind of like watching a movie and you can clearly see that the defenseless young protagonist is going to walk into a dark alley infested with thugs and have a very nasty experience, and all of your yelling and waving at the screen is not going to change a thing. 

What am I trying to say... it comes down to this: Life has a way of balancing and juggling events and experiences that would put the best circus performer to shame.  Knowing what is to come takes the joy and pleasure out of experience, and if we are not here to experience, then what's the point.  Yes, I am one of those... I believe in purpose and reasons for existence, and I believe that no matter what happens, we benefit from all of our experiences, especially the ones we don't see coming.  I won't say that I will always be happy, and that there won't be a certain amount of sorrow and hardship in life, but as I said before existence is one big balancing act and life has a way...

What a wonderful world...

The other day, someone was giving me directions.  They are as follows:

"You know XXXX?"*
"Yes"
"Alright.  You know that dead moose on the side of the road just past XXXX?  Well, you just go straight south from that dead moose and we'll be the second house on the right."

*The name of the place has been withheld because I don't want to get punched in the nose.

People in the country use roadkill as landmarks.  Yes, they do.  What's even weirder though, is that I knew exactly which dead moose was being mentioned. (Yes, there are often more than one.)  Just when I think that I have adjusted to life in the sticks, something like this happens and I am forced to realize that I "don't know nothin yet."  Everyday is a learning experience.  Yesterday, I went looking for our missing cat.  I must have walked for a half an hour around our property.  At one point, after I had crawled down from a broken down swather, or combine, (It was hard to tell because hey... what do I know), I realized that in the city it would have taken me all of two minutes to look around the property, and I wouldn't have had to look in an assorted mass of old vehicles, shacks, barns, workshops, or small forests.  I almost needed to have a search party come looking for me.  I never found the cat, but I discovered an interesting odor in the middle of the woods out back... something had sprayed its musk out there and the smell was strong.

I miss the conveniences of the city, but the trade offs are worth not having them.  At night, the sky is hard to see for all of the stars in the way.  Some of the spots that I have visited and some of the sights that I have seen make up for the cityscape that I have left behind.  That doesn't mean that I don't ever want to drink water from the tap again, or have consistent Internet connections, but there are things that can only be found out here, and to be honest, I find it pleasantly weird that someone could use a moose carcass as a road marker and I would actually know where to find it.

Now, to change things up a bit. 

I have a wall of death.  No, it's not what you think... yeah, I'm talking to you.  As has been previously mentioned, many of my students love to hunt, and they often miss classes to do it.  I was unhappy about this at first, but I was taken to task for my attitude.  I thought about it for awhile and an idea occurred to me.  I decided to recognize the hunters in my class by having them bring me pictures of their hunting successes.  I post the pictures on the wall and the kids feel good about seeing their 'accomplishments'.  So far, this has actually worked really well.  Most of the kids don't miss class anymore, because they want to bring in pictures to put up on the wall.  Eventually, the pics will take up all the room on my wall and I will have to expand it somewhat.  None of the pics are gory or inappropriate, in fact, they are all rather tasteful.  I don't mind it when I get some elk jerky either, but I won't be pinning that up on the wall...

It's a conspiracy, I tell you...

I've been reading Dan Brown's, "The Lost Symbol".  It's fluff reading, but it has been nice to read something non-pedagogical.  Just so you know, this is not going to be a book review, or a critique...  Anyway, in typical Brownian style, conspiracies abound throughout the book.  There are mentions of different groups, but the group that is the main focus of the story is the Freemasons.  As I have been reading, I have found myself wondering about secret knowledge, puzzles, theories, etc.  I know that like most writers, Brown takes factual information and twists it just enough to make a story more interesting.  Just try to get most people to read a treatise on freemasonry, and you'll see what I mean.  However, he does make some very good points.

How often do we look at other belief systems and think they are just a bunch of quackery, or mumbo jumbo?  Here is an example: Brown describes a special room where a mason can go to reflect and meditate.  In this room there are bones, a skull, a candle, a plate of salt, a plate of sulfur, etc.  Everything has a specific place and setting, and everything represents something else.  Now, many people might find this rather strange.  However, is it any stranger than practicing ritual cannibalism, or revering finger bones?  I want to be clear here.  I am not criticizing any belief systems.  I am not poking fun at them, or trying to slander them in any way.  What I am trying to do is say that when we look at any beliefs in a certain light, they might sound crazy, but only in a certain light.  Change the way we look at things and some of these beliefs don't seem so strange after all.  Many Christians partake of the communion.  The wine represents the blood of Christ and the wafer represents the body.  In a certain light, this could be seen as ritual cannibalism.  Relics are revered in many places, and these relics are bones, or hair, or blood.  The different objects in the masonic room of meditation represent mortality, truth, light, wisdom, etc, and when looked at in this light don't seem so strange afterall.  In fact, these are all things that most of us do seek after.

Now, let me step down from my soapbox.  I love puzzles, and I love mysteries... not the detective story, whodunit type of mysteries, which can be fun, but the ones that deal with the unknown, or the hidden.  I also love to learn.  I love to learn new things.  I especially like to learn new things about old things; I just can't can't get enough.  I sometimes wish that I was wealthy enough to actually spend my time learning the things that I want to learn, do the things that would help me to learn, and then share that learning with any who would be interested to learn my learning... erm... yeah... Anyway,  It's a dream that, someday, may become a reality.

I know that this post may open up some cans that I wish had stayed closed.  I also know that there may be some who misunderstand what I have written, and take offence where none at all is intended.  I hope that I am wrong. 

I guess the ultimate rush for me would be to solve some ancient mystery, or puzzle.  I know most people would be more excited to do something like climb Everest, or K2, or go to the moon, etc, but for me knowledge is the ultimate frontier.  You can neither have to much knowledge, nor can you have all knowledge.  This is wonderful.  It means that the adventure can continue forever because there will always be more to learn...

A Stranger in a Strange Land...

It has been too long since I have posted anything, and I am going to repent of this starting now.  I have been adjusting to a new life, in a new place, in a new (to me) part of the country, and it has been interesting and life changing.  I have moved several hundred kilometres north of where I lived in Edmonton, to a place called Silver Valley  (Sounds almost magical, doesn't it.  I sometimes expect little pixies, or fairies to pop out from around corners and such.) 

Life in the country has been a real adjustment for me and my family.  No more traffic, no more noise, no more quick trips to the store, and no more frivolous activities like spur of the moment movie going, or visits to the mall.  We now travel forty-five minutes to get to the nearest town, which is in the next province over, so we have to mentally adjust our clocks since they are in a different time zone.  Life is different here, but it is a good different.  I keep waiting to hear banjos, etc, but luckily none so far.

We took our kids out trick or treating, and it was quite the experience.  It took us three hours to visit seven places, but people out here are generous, and they doled out the loot to the kids in huge quantities.  It would have taken at least ten times the number of houses in the city to bring in the same haul.

This post is turning into more of a 'journal' than I want it to, please bear with me... 

I have found myself wondering when the laid back country life was going to occur.  I have been busier here than I ever have been before.  I'm not complaining, but it would be nice to slow down things a little.  We live on 162 acres of land (a section), and it has taken time to get used to looking out the window and seeing almost nothing as far as the eye can see.  My wife has gotten into the habit of taking the kids for walks through the fields, and forests around our place, and on those opportunities that I have had the chance to go with them, I have been grateful.  There is a peacefulness out here that is unequalled.  We have made a few trips down to the Peace river, and it has always been a beautiful and wonderful experience.  My son is a rock hound, as am I, and on these trips we have loaded up our trunk with the treasures that we have found.  We have brought home fossils, petrified wood, water carved rocks, and even some really cool looking driftwood.  Our home is starting to look like a museum, but it is something that my son and I can share with each other, and that is more important to me than the actual rocks, etc themselves.

My children have grown in some surprising ways.  They are quickly gaining a maturity that they lacked in the city, they are better friends to each other, and there is a bond within our family that is stronger than ever.  I am grateful for it. 

We are adapting to the country in other ways as well.  We have a cat that never comes in the house, I own, and wear, a  pair of 'gumboots', (Wellies, to you British folk), and I have 'enjoyed' mowing the vast yard we have with a rider mower. 

We buy our drinking water in 18.9 litre bottles, and we wash our clothes, dishes, etc with water from a dugout.  our plumbing takes our 'waste' water to a lagoon not far away from the house, although it is far enough away that it doesn't smell.  The truth is that it doesn't smell even when you are close by it, (but I still wouldn't want to fall in...)

Hunting is huge out here, and almost everyone uses antlers in their decorating, although, very few are as bad as Gaston from Beauty and the Beast.  We have a rock display in the front that highlights a rack of antlers still connected to an elk skull.  Surrounding this are several antlers.  A friend from England said that it reminded him of  "Pet Cemetery", and I guess it does, but my kids love playing there... what does that say about my kids...

The long and short of this whole post is that we are now in a world that we never thought we would be in, but that we are finding will most definitely change our lives.  In the end, isn't that what life is all about?  As they say, it is the journey and experiences we have while traveling the road of life that matter the most, and I am grateful for every step that I take on my own version of the hero's journey.

Just a short note...

It has been a while since I posted anything, and I have really missed it.  As I stated in my last post, I was in for a big move, well, that move has happened and it was really big.  In many ways, I am still adjusting.  The upshot is that I will be doing a new post within the next couple of days, but I thought I would just drop in to let everyone know that I had not forgotten, or lost interest in this blog. 

See you soon, and thanks for being patient...

Changes...

Although I have decided to write more here about writing, I will also continue to blog about thoughts and ideas, my life, and anything that I feel like blogging about.  I also feel a very strong tendency to write sort of stream of consciousnessly coming on, so please bear with me.  Right now I want to write about changes.  In fact, you could define my life lately with that word. 

I have been offered a teaching position about six hours north of where I currently live.  Since this makes a commute a little difficult, we have decided to move closer to the school that I will be working at.  The job itself is an incredible opportunity.  I will be teaching in my subject specialization (English) as well as French, photography, and video.  However, I will be living on 162 acres of farm land that is at least 45 minutes from the nearest town, (Spirit River, or Dawson Creek), and an hour and a half from the nearest city, (Grande Prairie), which means that we will be far more isolated than we are used to. 

I really don't want this blog to become an announcement page, but I need to say all of this to illustrate my point.  Our lives will be changing... drastically.  Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining.  In fact, this is an opportunity that would be hard to find anywhere else.  However, very many things will be very different for us, but here's the kicker... wait for it... wait for it... change is only temporary.  Tada!  Really, it is.  When we moved into the house we are currently living in, I told my wife that it felt like a house and not a home.  I also told her that I felt that I would never be able to call it a home.  Well, now that we are moving, I am feeling sad about leaving the 'home' that I became very comfortable in and very fond of.

Change is temporary.  Let me explain.  Change and time work very closely together, in fact, you might even call them two aspects of the same job.  Change occurs and time comes along and smooths everything over.  It's kind of like time follows change closely and cleans up any messes that change might make.  It has been said that time is the great healer, well it is.  It is also the great fixer upper, the great cleaner upper, and the great big, soft mattress that we land on when change comes along and throws us off of the electric bull, so to speak.  Time makes everything all better.

This doesn't mean that change is always easy, but since we live our lives uni-directionally from past to future, we know that the great temporal shift of time will come along and make everything better if we will let it.  That's the key.  We can choose to let go of that which is left behind, or we can hold on so tightly that time would need a crowbar to pry it out of our hands and minds.  It comes down to what almost everything comes down to... choice.  Well, we have gone from change to choice... what's next?

Well, we'll have to wait for the next post to find out the answer.  Don't worry, I won't change my mind.  I won't change channels, or change direction, or even change places or positions.  I will post an answer to the question, "what next", and that's a promise that isn't going to change...

I met someone...

It has been quite a while since I last posted.  Well, enough of stating the obvious...

I met someone.  I thought I would share that with the whole world.  I met someone... three words that can inspire joy, anger, sadness, bliss, tingles, etc... but what do they really mean?  Language is wonderful, and powerful.  The right words can inspire a nation, or bring joy to the hearer, and the wrong words can destroy hope, or fan the flames of hatred. Words, and knowing how to use them, are powerful gifts/talents.  There are many out there who use words to weave a spell over any who may dare to read, or listen to those words.  As the great Stan Lee once said, "With great power, comes great responsibility", and writers, wordsmiths, authors, etc all have great power.

I told my students that I met someone.  Here are the reactions I received to that comment:

     "But you're married!"
     "Eeeewww, you're old!"
     "Is she cute?"
     "So.  I meet people all of the time."
     "Does your wife know?"
     "What do you mean by, 'you met someone'?"

There were other comments, some of which were rather silly, or rude, or actually were answers to questions I asked yesterday... 

The point is, that most of my students assumed that the phrase, 'I met someone' meant that there was some sort of romantic attraction, or at least something more than just meeting another human being.  We meet people every day.  However, we rarely mention the run of the mill meetings, or meetings that don't have a significant impact on our lives.  Since some of the most significant relationships we have are of an intimate, or romantic nature, when we use the aforementioned phrase, the assumption is almost always 'you met someone that you have a romantic interest in, otherwise you wouldn't bother telling me/us about him/her.'

We as thinking, speaking and assumption-making people have learned, for the most part, to be careful with what we say and/or how we say it.

As writers, we need to be aware of the unwritten rules behind our language use.  We need to be aware that although being able to craft language is powerful, if we don't know the social/cultural connotations, assumptions, etc. we can end up holding onto the tiger's tail and find ourselves the authors/creators of something that we neither intended, nor control.

So, go ahead meet as many people as you want, but be careful when you tell the world...

Did someone see that truck's license plate...

It has been a long day, a long week, a long month, and a very long year.  At the same time, this year, this month, this week, and today have zoomed by incredibly fast.  Combine the two perspectives and it feels like I have been hit by the proverbial truck.  I'm always astounded by the fact that time can pass slowly and quickly concurrently; I'm convinced that somewhere within this particular temporal phenomenon is the secret to time travel.  (I have been watching Star Trek Voyager lately... can you tell?)

I am fascinated by time and memory though, I always have been.  The whole arrow of time, entropy, the third law of thermodynamics, etc all have a special place in the back of my mind.  I've even written a story or two about time, time travel, and the whole space-time continuum thingy. 

I am fairly sure that we have all experienced the feeling that some things pass by quickly and other things don't.  Ask anyone who is sitting in a dentist's chair how time is passing for them, and I am pretty sure you will get a different answer than that given by someone who is having the time of their life.  Is there a real temporal shift going on here, or is it just perspective?  The answer may seem obvious, but again, it depends on who you ask.  I know people who are convinced that we control the speed of time without being aware of it, and there is no convincing them otherwise.

The reality of all this is that time passes no matter what.  We can't change it, stop it, or even turn it around.  Everything we experience throughout our lives is coloured by our perspective, even time... or should I say especially time.  I have started reading a book and eight hours later realized that it was eight hours later but it felt like only a few minutes had passed.  My middle child had to have laser treatment when she was six months old.  The actual treatment lasted maybe 30 seconds to a minute, but my heart was breaking as she cried in pain and fear, and it felt like an eternity.  I believe that there is a corollary here: The more enjoyable the experience the faster that time flies and the more un-enjoyable the experience the slower that time drags by.  I'm sure that someone out there has made a mathematical formula out of this to torture math students with.

Back to the truck I mentioned earlier... We can get the license plate of that truck by simply adjusting our perspective.  That's the easy part... saying it, that is... the hard part is doing it.  It takes a lot of self control to be in control of time, or our perspective of the passage of time.  We can easily make ourselves aware of it, but can we really control how we perceive it?  Anyone who has watched a clock knows that just by making yourself aware of the time and counting the minutes along with it will slow the clock right down.  If you don't believe me, try it.  The second that you start counting the seconds is the point in time at which the universe seems to slow down.  Conversely, the moment you lose yourself in an enjoyable activity, time speeds up, and you can't measure it, because again, the moment you do so... well, you get my point.

Speaking about 'time', it is time for me to finish this post.  So without further time spent, I will end this in a timely fashion.  I hope that you are looking forward to the next time I post.  Until then, have a good time, be on time, and take the time to smell the roses.  It's high time that more of us did so...

Time off does not necessarily mean time off...

I've been meaning to update my blog for some time now, and I was looking forward to this week off to do so.  I am quickly discovering that I may need a break from my break.  The reality is that unless you plan every moment of the day when you are on holiday, life is very unstructured.  Now, I am the last person to complain about the lack of structure since I find that flying by the seat of my pants and living life full on is the way to go, and this happens best when I don't actually plan.  However, This week is not one that has allowed me to steer my course through it with only my behind to guide me; this week has consisted of doctor's appointments for my daughter and wife, visits to the in-laws, and grocery shopping. 

I was very close to going on a school trip to France, but circumstances occurred to make that an impossibility.  So, instead, I am changing nappies, feeding babies, and staying up late watching Star Trek Voyager until 0100 in the morning.  I don't want to sound like I'm complaining though, because I'm not.  I have a chance to support my wife, spend time with my family, and watch old episodes of Star Trek; these are things France would not have given me.  I also don't want to complain because most of the working world doesn't get spring break off, and I don't want to come off as a putz.

You have probably figured out that this is one of my blog entries where I ramble.  Rambling is good, though.  It is very stream of consciousness type stuff and you never really know where it will take you.  I knew that I would ramble as I sat down to write this, because I am writing more for the need to do so, than for the need to say something specific.

So, bear with me.  This blog entry may not be the best thing that you have read today, this week, this month, or this year, but hopefully, it won't be the worst either.

I have only one and a half days left of spring break.  Tomorrow, me and my son are going to the mountains to have some good solid father and son time, and when I get back I will take my daughter out for some daddy daughter time as well.  Saturday will see and my wife going on a date, so I guess after all is said and done, France has nothing on my being with my family.

I will get some writing done this week, and I have almost finished this entry, so I guess I am not as far behind the game as I thought.  I also made new friends on twitter, and making friends is always a good thing, and I will take friends and family over France any day.

Being lost in a place full of maps...

There are times when being lost is a good thing.  When I lived in England, I would often take roads that I had never been on before just to see where they went; I discovered some of the coolest things by doing this.  I have done this while traveling in Italy, France, and Germany; I have done it while traveling in Canada and the United States; and I have done it when hiking or climbing in the mountains where I lived when I was younger.  I find not knowing where you are to be somewhat exhilerating. The fact is that not knowing where you are leads to new things and new experiences, which makes life that much more pleasurable and happy.

When we define ourselves, if we bother to try, we usually look back at our lives and use our past as a sort of rubric or template by which to base our definition of self upon.  In many ways this is normal and natural.  Plato believed that we are the sum total of all of our experiences.  In other words, we are who we are because of what we have done, or haven't done; because of the choices we have made, or haven't made; and because of the way we have reacted, or have not reacted to the choices that others have made.  I have said this before, and it is something that I will say again because I strongly feel that it is true.

However, having said all of this, there are times when being or feeling lost is not what we want to feel, or be, but it is what we are.  There are times when the vagaries of the world combine against us and force us out of places we feel comfortable, into places that we don't.  Although there may be exhileration connected with discovering that which is new, there can also be sorrow or fear.  There are times when not knowing, or seeing the way can be frightening, if not terrifying, and if this happens too often, the feelings associated with things that are new may not be positive or happy.

We all feel like this at times.  It's true... we all do.  Even those people we look at and think have it all together, even those who seem in control, and even those who we turn to for comfort and guidance have found themselves lost and afraid.  It often happens when there are maps and signposts all around, but we have, for some reason, lost the ability to read them clearly.  However, the wonderful thing is that these times do pass and we find ourselves again, or we find the joy in being somewhere new, and we move on.  It's like traveling through a field of roses.  We see the beauty before we enter the field, we experience the thorns while we are within the field, and when we have left and look back, we once more only see the beauty.

Life is good, even when it isn't.  This is because, like Bilbo Baggins, we go 'there and back again', and we are never the same person when we return as we were when we left.  New places, new things, and new experiences shape us, and grow us, and teach us, and I believe that this is good.

Writing...

One of the primary reasons I started this blog was to discuss matters of writing.  I find it interesting that I have posted more entries about non-writing topics than I have actually posted about writing.  However, I also believe that any form of writing, be it blogs, novels, short stories, poems, non-fiction, or whatever has a life of its own.  That is, it goes in the direction it wants to go in.  There have been many times that I have begun writing a post for this blog and what came out was not what I intended, or more accurately, I often sit down without any intentions at all and just wait and see what comes out.  Today is no exception.  I believe that what we write is what we need to write, even if it is not necessarily what we want to write.  When we fight this tendency our writing suffers, or more to the point, our ability to write suffers.

Since I have been involved with tools such as twitter, this blog, etc, I have become even more aware that there is a vast population of writers and would-be writers out there.  I always knew that, but now... well, let's just say that I am, as previously stated, even more aware of them... or should I say us...

I have found that, interestingly, many people who write often find it hard to understand those who do not, or cannot write, and it is also very much the other way around.  Non-writers don't understand the need that we writers have to write, nor do they understand the feeling writers get when they do write.  It is also something that is very hard to explain.  In fact, it is much like describing the taste of salt without using the word salt, or salty.  The best way to see into a writer's heart, mind and soul is to read what they have written since this is the way that writer's express themselves.

I, like most writers, have always written.  I can remember no time in my life when I have not written.  A while ago I was looking through some boxes of stuff I have from childhood and I found stories, or ideas for stories that I wrote so many years ago. 

The fact that many writers do not publish does not make them any less of a writer than those who do.  Some people write solely for the sake of writing, and not for fame, or financial reward... not that there is a lot of that for most writers...

So, those of you who write... keep writing... no matter what.  Don't give up because you aren't published, or because no one gets or likes your writing.  Write because there is that spark within you that demands to be released.  Write because the thought of not writing is unbearable.  Write because it is what you do and who you are.  Write because of the sheer joy it, and finally, write because the world needs writers... it really does.